My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
only lesbians can see this post if u see this post u r a lesbian
I’m a 20 year old boy why can I see this post
You’re a lesbian.
how do I tell my boyfriend
Friends appreciating friends.
I love bobby.
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
these are the pictures i live for
bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart
how the fuck do you cheat at jenga
ask a lesbian
this is never not funny
people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with
jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying
AS IN THE FUCKING TIME
I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused
"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”
talk dirty to me
IM GONNA PISS MYSELF IN THIS RESTAURANT
now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…
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